Feb 6, 2013

Where's Waldo?

So...the saga continues; I'm not sure what it is that has me, every few months, without fail neglecting this blog. I have to apologize to you, my readers; from the bottom of my keyboard, I, really am sorry. I go through these stages, of Depression, Hopelessness, Chaos, and procrastination. I'm not at fault for the depression, that's in my chemical makeup; But I am, However in charge of the others. I get so hopeless, its tough keeping the Sunny side up all-the-freakin'-time. That's no excuse, but it is a coping mechanism for me. I like to get myself into an extremely dark place, filled with pessimism; and I justify those thoughts by saying to myself "Cassie, you're so damn happy, all-the-freakin'-time, you can be negative sometimes too, its okay". Only it's not, I know how toxic that negative thinking can be, especially to myself. Then, when the busy time comes, I'm so miserable, I just completely cave in and disconnect from both; friends and social networks alike. That too is terrible, but the procrastination is by far, the worst! I just convince myself that no one wants to read what I have to write, and that no one wants to watch my videos, so I can put it off for another day. and then we end up here...4 months later, 4 FREAKIN' MONTHS!!! again, I'm sorry. In the past 4 months, I've dyed my hair 6 times, seen Marilyn Manson, taken Sunny to the vets (for a checkup), begun being healthy again, started drawing extended studies of the venal and cardiovascular systems, and picked up and started learning to play the Ukelele. If I have the willpower to go running, then I have the willpower to update this blog! stay tunedxx

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